about the bitch known as doctor pickle (phd)

i went to pickle university, so you could say i am a BIT, of a picklehead. most people don't understand me when i talk about my experience there AS a picklehead, but that's ok. i don't NEED to be understood in order to affirm my own experiences and, subsequently, my own identity.

my degrees come in two flavors: penis, and being awesome. majoring in two subjects at once was quite difficult, and i found myself contemplating giving up on multiple occasions, but there isn't a single day that goes by where i regret my time at pickle university, persuing higher knowledge and discovering myself. i wouldn't trade it for the world

few know this, but i actually was THE PICKLER during my time in university! you heard that right! during football, basketball, croquet, cricket, golf, and volleyball tournaments, i would prance around in our schools beloved THE PICKLER costume, terrorizing the opposing team, PICKLING them, and giving our righteous and hardworking teem a chuckle, and even, at times, a giggle. unfortunately, this position isn't given the respect it deserves by many outsiders that don't understand how much integrety and dedication you have to have to your school to even put THE PICKLER costume on at all. but again, i don't let the trivial thoughts and judgements of interlopers get to me, and i refuse to feel any less dignified because of you judgemental FUCKS.

ugh. JESUS. anyways here's me (2019):

i bet your wondering, hey, doctor pickle. what are a few, of your interests.


fortunately for you all, i have compiled a list of things i will allow you all to know about me:

  1. ONE (1): i was THE PICKLER in my college days
  2. TWO: i have two degrees!
  3. Three: eeek!!!!!!!!!!
  4. FOUR: sometimes, when i'm truly alone, with my thoughts, i think about, men.. and women aswell.

anyhow, that's all for what you need to know about me. everything else is quite obvious, at least if you have a phd like i do. and DON'T accuse me of holding everyeone to a higher intellectual standard, it is NOT that hard to be just like me so if you can't grasp what i am saying than maybe you should be trying harder. ok?